Crepuscule
by Lola

It was loud in the bar, there weren't many people here, it was a Thursday night, ladies night, and there were slim pickings. I walked over to the bathroom, and noticed a man standing next to the entrance, he was tall, and was looking right at me, I couldn't see his face, it was dark, I felt a little self conscience, I hadn't been out to a bar or anywhere halfway social, in years, and wasn't used to being looked at, I was dressed in Carrie's black vinyl dress, her stockings, her boots and had her gloves tucked into her belt, around my waist. She had dressed me up, and brought me here, "To live a little" she said. She was always after me to go out, to dress up, and to be alive again. The reason for my withdrawal from society was easy, my husband had died, he was killed by a homeless man wanting only to warn him of Gods coming, by pushing him in front of the train he was waiting for. When Chris died, I thought I would die as well. for months that slowly started to fade to years, I was sinking deeper and deeper into despair, when Carrie came into my life. She was a wild girl of twenty seven, who delivered my groceries, she became my friend, and my link to the outside world, she eventually became my savior, pulling me out of the darkness, back into the light. Why I let her make me her doll to dress up and do what she liked, and bring me to her playground is beyond me. I got closer to the bathroom and felt his eyes following me, I dared to look at him and saw his face. He had a strong face, he was dark, and had eyes that were an almost iridescent blue, I looked away quickly, and kept walking, I wondered where Carrie was, she brought me here and walked off with a man she had met the last time we were here. I reached for the door handle, and looked at him again, he was still staring at me. I took my time in the bathroom, hoping he would be gone by the time I got out. I was looking in the mirror, at the carefully applied make up, the hair that took a hour to do, and again I wondered what I was doing here. "Living a little" I guess.

I walked around looking for Carrie, but I couldn't find her, I stood at the bar and looked around, wondering if Carrie was having fun. I was looking at my shoes when I saw a pair of black boots very close to me. I looked up and saw the man who had been watching me at the bathroom. He smiled and said "Can I buy you a drink for being so beautiful?" I looked away and didn't answer, I really didn't feel like hearing about how beautiful I was and how my dress would look really nice rolled up in a ball next his king sized bed. I pretended not to hear him. "It seems as if though I've forgotten my manners, I didn't address you correctly." I looked at him, he was looking right at my eyes, and slowly began to bend down on his knee, not once taking his eyes off mine.  "May I please you by bringing you a drink Mistress?"
He said. I looked around and caught a glimpse of Carrie, she was in the arms of a drunk suitor, I tried to call out to her, but I couldn't move, I looked back at the man on his knee, and didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to say, but I wanted him to get off the floor, and back on his feet. "Sure why not?" I said nervously, looking around, and saw almost no one watching this spectacle. "Thank you kind Mistress."  He said. He stood up and walked to the other end of
the bar. I turned around, and had again lost sight of Carrie. I turned to leave, but I also wanted to stay, it was as if though I were glued to the floor.

The man returned holding two glasses, one was red, the other was clear. He again bent down, put his head down, held out the glass and said "Mistress." I took the glass and said "Thank you." He looked me over a couple of times, avoiding my gaze the entire time. I took a drink of the red liquid, it smelled like a pomegranate, and tasted the same. "May I ask your name?" he said. "Julia." I said. "What a beautiful name." he said. I looked at him, he was breathtaking, I'd never seen a person quite as flawless. "I'm David." He said "Its quite a pleasure to make your acquaintance." He looked at me thru his glass.

At about the fourth red drink, I excused myself to the ladies room. I walked past all the people that blurred together, as I walked. The bar had filled up quickly. I leaned over the sink to wash my hands, someone else stuck their hands under the running water, next to mine. I looked up, it was Carrie. "I see someone is having some fun." she said teasingly.
She looked in the mirror, running her tongue slowly over her lips. "So who's the slave?" she asked. "I'm not sure, I just met him." I said quickly. "Don't worry, your a grown up, I think you can do whatever you want by this point. I think I'm going to leave soon, so do you want a taxi before I go?" she asked.   "You can't leave me here alone!" I said. She looked at me, smiled, and said, "I told you I was probably going to leave, besides you met someone you can hang
out with, make a new friend, a second one." she said sarcastically. "You'll be fine, I've seen that guy around before, he's not a psycho. So I'm leaving okay?" she said. "Have fun." I said as she walked out. I took a look in the mirror, and smoothed out a few stray strands of hair, and walked out.

I walked towards the end of the bar and felt a breeze at my back, then felt David behind me, sliding his hand around my waist, and whispered, "Dance with me."  He guided me towards the darkened dance floor. We danced, the music was loud, and I felt as if though time was slowing. He led me back to the bar. I sat down and felt dizzy. "Another drink Mistress?" he looked like he was flushed. "Sure." I whispered. He leaned over me, taking me by surprise, his neck was near my face, I could smell his cologne, it was like smelling wind. He stepped back only slightly, and looked me in the eye, he bent slightly, and put his mouth near my neck, I could feel the coolness of his breath, against my skin, I thought he was going to kiss me but he only brushed his lips against me, then handed me another drink.

Three more red drinks later, I again excused my self, I walked over to the door, an began looking for my coat, I wasn't going back to the bar, I was drunk, and didn't want to do something I might not want to do, all evening I felt as if though I were in a daze, and wanted to go home, I was staring at the row of coats, and couldn't remember which was mine, when I felt something being draped around my shoulders. It was David, he was putting my coat around me, and asked if I would join him outside, for air, he said. He held my hand and pulled me outside. It was freezing cold, I felt dizzy and leaned up against David, who seemed unaffected despite drinking twice as much as myself.

I stared up into the sky, it was darker than usual, and I couldn't see too many stars. "I want you to come with me." he said. I felt dizzy, and warm, I was drunk. He led me towards a black car, and opened the door, I fell into the seat, feeling warm, and happy, almost as if I were high. I think I fell asleep.

Ting. Ting. Ting. Ting. I woke up and heard a noise, it was the sound of the keys still in the ignition, I heard the door open, and David was there.  "May I help you out Mistress? He asked. He took my hand and helped me out of the car, it was strangely quiet, and still, but yet it felt as if though the ground were alive beneath my feet as I walked.

I followed David up the steps, and looked around, it was a huge house, it was old, but beautiful, I thought this may be marble beneath my feet, I looked up and felt dizzy again, the ceilings were so high, and they were painted with angels, and demons, there were clouds, water, and fire, a rainbow, a child, a sheep, the sun and finally the moon, it seemed as though I could hear and feel its breath, and I wondered if what I was seeing and feeling was real. I reached out and
touched one of the white columns as I walked by. It felt soft, like skin, and seemed to ripple beneath my touch, it was eerie, but intriguing. David opened the door, and I felt an almost warmth escape from the house, as if it were waiting for him to open the door, so it could escape its own walls.

I walked up the front, and towards the huge staircase, that seemed to go on forever. I walked slowly, I still felt dizzy from the alcohol, David seemed to float up the stairs, it felt as if though I had no control over my body, as if I were being drawn to him, to follow him, no matter where he was going to lead me. We went down a narrow hallway, and into a small door that led into a large darkened room, there were two oil lamps, burning dimly, they looked like they might go out any second. He took my hand, and pulled me into the room, closing the door behind me. He removed my coat, and let it drop to the floor, he stood very close behind me, I leaned back against him, he moved his fingertips along the inside of my arm, slowly moving up to my neck, he moved my hair to one side, and put his lips to my skin, I felt a sudden rush thru my body, like my blood was hot, his lips felt cool, his kiss was gentle, but I could feel his teeth barely touching me, it was a kiss like no other. His hands moved towards the front of my dress, touching my breasts, he started to turn me around, he pulled back on my hair,and kissed my neck, hard, I could feel him biting me, no one had ever done that to me, and it was strangely exciting, he moved to my mouth, barely brushing his lips against mine, I almost reached for him, to make him kiss me, I'd never been so aroused before, he gently kissed me, pulling back
on my hair, and whispered, "I want you." he reached behind me and started to unzip my dress, a million different thoughts were making my head spin, I didn't know where I was, or who I was with, I didn't even know his last name, thoughts of disbelief at my actions, at what I was allowing him to do with me, but I also thought of Chris, my husband, the only man I'd ever been with in my life, I closed my eyes, and could still feel his touch, his warmth, his kisses, I
opened my eyes, and looked for David, but he wasn't there.

Chris looked back at me with shimmery eyes, that almost looked like waves of silvery blue. It couldn't be Chris, he was dead, this wasn't real, I closed my eyes, and felt Chris's touch, felt his mouth on me, but it wasn't Chris, he looked like Chris, but he didn't feel like him, his kisses were more fervent, he was biting me, Chris never did that. "Sleep my child,
s l e e p."

I started to dream. I was all alone, and walking thru a tunnel, it was dark, and all I could hear were the echoes of my own feet, the floor was wet, and it smelled coppery. I saw a door, there was light under the doorway, I walked faster, and reached for the doorknob. I couldn't find it, I felt all over the door, and found it it was almost near the bottom, I
opened the door, I saw Chris, he was looking down at the floor, he looked sad. I walked over to him and took his hand, he snatched it away, and looked at me, he looked angry, "Chris, where are we?" I asked. "You must leave here, you cannot stay anymore." He began to cry. "Chris, I'm not going, don't cry, please look at me." I said. he took my hands in his and looked at me, I've missed you so. But now we must say goodbye, you've made a mistake Julia, a terrible mistake, and now you must leave...." he started to cry again, and let go of my hands, and he turned his back on me, I
tried to move in front of him, but my feet were stuck in something, and I couldn't move. "Wake up Julia, and choose, choose wisely." he slowly faded away, and the darkness engulfed me.

"J u l i a, w a k e u p...." I heard, I slowly started to wake from dream of darkness, I felt so tired, I couldn't move, I felt a searing pain near my neck, I tried to touch it, but I couldn't move my arms. "I have a gift for you, wake and choose." I
opened my eyes and saw David staring at me, his mouth was very red, like he'd had candy in his mouth. "Do you wish to die now?" He asked. "Or do you want eternity with me?" His face was Chris. Come back to me sweet princess, we can be together forever, join me, take my hand." he reached out to me. I'd been so alone without Chris, everyday without him was worse than dying, it was like dying everyday. I reached out and took his hand. he laughed and dropped my hand, he started to whisper, I couldn't understand what he was saying, it seemed like he was speaking backwards. He raised a small glass to my lips, and made me drink, it was cold, could feel its cold traveling down my
throat, it tasted faintly like vanilla. I fell asleep, and once more, began to dream.

It was cold in my dream. I was walking thru waves, trying not to fall, or be swept away. I looked down and saw the water was was a bright iridescent blue, I touched it and it was warm, for a moment I was free, I swam in the water, which was like liquid sand, the sun was hot, but the wind was cool, I was floating in the water, I saw Chris, I saw my mother waving to me from the beach, calling out to me, it was a moment of the greatest peace I have ever known. A feeling of passing from this life to the next. I closed my eyes and felt the sun hot against my face, but then suddenly, the sun went dark. I looked around, I felt scared, it was cold again, the water was icy, and I was getting trapped in the frozen water, I ran towards the beach as fast as could, the water freezing solidly as I walked out of the water, the sand was cold, like mud, but very very cold. I looked around, and saw the faces of many people, people I did not know, but people I knew as well, they were walking past me, watching me until they couldn't see me anymore. I heard cries of pain, and sorrow, regret, suffering, and torment, but most of all cries of pain, I looked back and saw Chris in the shadows, he looked at me, and said "Julia, what have you done?" he turned his back , and slowly faded away, I never ever saw him again.

I awoke in pain, I felt like my nerves were on fire all at the same time, I tried to move, but it hurt too much, I opened my eyes, it was dark, but I could see everything in the room, I could see beyond the walls out into the gardens, and even farther still, I felt like all my senses were heightened almost to the point of insanity, slowly, the pain started to fade, and I felt nothing, no cold, no warmth, no feelings. I was aware of everything, I heard a spider crawling across the dead leaves in the yard, I heard its breath. I suddenly felt a terrible burning pain in my stomach, it was hunger, a hunger I'd never felt before, I could feel it thru out every part of my body, I felt like I was hollow, and I didn't know why, I felt cold, but not uncomfortable, thoughts were racing in and out of my head, millions and millions of thoughts, I couldn't control, I felt as if though I might explode, and saw things differently, or maybe I'd just never noticed, the walls were breathing, the entire house, every object was alive, I felt the touch of the bed underneath me, I felt its gentle caresses, I felt trapped, like I had to run, faster and as far way as I could, I jumped up and went to the window, and was going to step out, into the air, when I felt something, something indescribable, a pulling, someone in my head, calling out to me, calling me to come forth, beckoning me, I could not resist, I turned and felt a strong sense of fear, almost overwhelming, but alluring, and surreal. "I am your master now." said the man.

I stared at him, he was pale, fair, and he was beautiful, I wanted to serve him. "Do you know what's happened?" he said. I couldn't find words to answer, I felt different, like an animal, like I was in a different world. I smelled the scent of dead flowers, mixed with vanilla. I put my hands to my stomach, the hungry feeling was so intense, and I didn't think I
can stand it for very long, it was thirst, a craving. "Poor, poor soul. You don't know what you have chosen, a life of eternity, you'll never grow old, you'll never die, you'll never want for anything again." I looked at my arm, there was blood, that had fallen from my neck, blood, there was so much of it, how could I have lived? I felt no pain, no sensations, only the hungry almost unbearable thirst. "Am I dead? Did you kill me?" I said quickly. "I only ended your pain, and gave you eternity." he replied. "I want to go back, I want to see Chris, my mom, I'm not supposed to be here, your not Chris," I blurted out, I wanted to cry, but there was no emotion. "You belong to me." he said and disappeared past me and out the window. I looked outside, it must be morning soon I thought. I smelled the air, it was a strong
mixture of infinite smells, of which I could distinguish every single one. I heard sounds of birds flying thru the air miles and miles away, I could hear their thoughts, I felt the air, and I wasn't breathing, but it didn't matter, I didn't need to. I
turned and saw movement, it was far, but I could see it, it was a man, a large man standing at the bus top. I stepped out of the window into the first night of my death.

Damn bus is late again. Henry looked at his watch, it was 4:01 a.m. He'd been waiting for half an hour and was getting nervous, probably not a good idea to stand out on the street at this time of the morning, who knew what, or who is out here, just as he spoke, he saw a woman walking down the street towards him, she was small, and slender, she had long dark brown, loosely curled hair, the kind he always admired, she was pale, her face almost illuminated by the bright moonlight, her eyes were black, they were probably brown, but from where Henry stood it made no difference, he felt a coolness about her, a dreadful, almost fear of her, but she was only a woman, a small woman at that. For some reason, she's not casting a shadow. How strange thought Henry.

I found myself walking down the street, towards the man at the bus stop, I could smell his scent, I could hear his heartbeat, I heard his breath, and could hear his thoughts. he was scared, his fear gave off a sensual smell, an almost sweet smell. I called out to him, I made his thoughts disappear, and surrender himself, when I thought I caught sight of someone, the man, the man who I thought was Chris, I turned and looked for him, I saw him in the darkness, I felt the
same overwhelming sense of being called by him. I walked towards him, I tried to resist, but felt like if I did, my feet would take me there despite my fear. "The sun will be here soon, we must go home." he said. I turned to look at the man, he was still standing there, willing to give himself to me, at my word, when I felt an even greater pull, a terrible
empty, dark, dreadful feeling, I could not ignore, I was being called. "You will obey your master, or you will regret the rest of eternity girl, hell will look like paradise." I turned and followed him into the night, back to the house that breathed.

I awoke to the sound of nothing. I was starving, but this was different, I got up, I was lying on something, it seemed like a bed, it was on the floor, which was made of dirt. There were others here, two men, who slightly resembled David, they had the same dark, and dreary eyes. "What are you called?" one said. "I don't know, I don't remember." I said "Can it be you don't know your own name?" said the other. He came closer to me, his eyes seemed to challenge me.
He looked me over inch by inch, and said, "You are not the Master of this house." he said rather loudly, I could sense his caution, and felt as if though he was also unsure. "I am the Mistress of this house and you will keep your distance from me." I said, I couldn't read his thoughts, but I knew he did not want me here, and I sensed danger. He stepped away for a moment, then stood behind me and whispered, "A Mistress with no name, is not my Mistress." I wondered if he could sense my fear. Just then, David appeared in the doorway. "I am the master of this lair." he said. The one who was behind me backed away. "I will have none of this behavior or you will all pay for the actions of one another." The sound of his voice was like no other I'd heard before. I felt a sinking, sad feeling. I knew that I would be trapped here forever.

I ventured into the night with specific instructions to be back when he called, he told me he was only going to call once. I went in search of food. I walked down the street with a new feeling of empowerment, I went down alleys, dead end streets, and for the first time felt no fear, I was still wearing the black dress, I didn't want to wear it anymore, I
went to a familiar street and stood before the white house, and tried to remember why I was here, I went towards the back, and found I was able to jump very high, I kicked open the window and went inside. It was dark, but I could see. I walked up the stairs and into a large room, I recognized some things, but didn't seem to care. I went to the closet and pulled out some clothes, I noticed that there was still some blood on me, I went to the bathroom and ran the water.
I looked in the mirror and was startled, there was no reflection.

Carries blue car sputtered around the corner, and onto Julia's street. I feel so bad, she thought, she had left her two days ago at the club, and she had not returned home. This is the last time I'm checking, if she's not here yet, I'll call the police, She thought. As she rounded the corner, she saw the bathroom light was on. She let out a sigh of relief, and parked the car. The bathroom light was the only one on, it was well after midnight, but she decided to get out of the car and go in. She wanted an explanation.

I heard someone knocking at the door, but did not want to answer, I was unfamiliar with the things in this house, and was sure I would not know who was at the door. I got dressed and heard the sound of keys, I felt this sensation, this feeling that what I needed to satisfy the unbearable hunger, was within reach. I stood at the top of the stairs, and saw a young woman enter the house, she switched on the light, I could hear her breath barely escaping her mouth. She was
pretty, she had red hair and pale skin, I heard her heart beating. She looked up and saw me. "Julia!" she said, I didn't answer. "Where have you been? I was going to call the police!" she said, halfway yelling. "I was waiting for you my sweet." I replied, it seemed as though I had no control over my thoughts, and words, I wanted to taste her, the smell
of her was almost intoxicating. "Come up here, I have something to show you." I said sweetly. She looked at me for a brief moment, looked around, and started up the stairs. "Where's my dress?" Carrie said almost frightened. She sensed something was wrong, Julia wasn't herself, and she almost felt scared of her, but she knew that Julia would never hurt her, maybe she was sick, or maybe she was hurt, something was different, a faint smell of roses mixed with vanilla filled the air. As she approached her, she noticed her eyes, they were huge, and black, she'd never seen them like this. When she got to the top of the stairs, She noticed a broken window. "W-what happened to the window?" she asked. "It was an accident." I said, I sensed that I knew this woman, but could not remember her name. "Your dress is over there." I pointed towards the bedroom. She smelled sweet as she passed by me, I was reading her thoughts, she was confused. Carrie picked up the blood stained dress, and underwear. "Julia, were you wearing this? Is this .....blood?" She dropped the dress, As its heaviness fell to the floor, I put my hands on the back of her shoulders. Her thoughts were racing almost too quickly for me to read. There was a sense that this was terribly wrong, but, my hunger was beyond my control. "Julia what are you doing! Let me go!" I turned her around to face me, there was a wild look in her eyes, a fear that only made her flesh smell all the sweeter. The hunger consumed me as I ate of her flesh. I savored the feel of her, the taste! Oh the taste was warm, like a very sweet strawberry, it had a grainy feel, like a pear, when you chew it. It was my my sanctuary from the darkness that had become me. I ate for a while, but soon the
feast became bitter, the pleasure was lost. I had killed my only friend and did not even know.


I walked out feeling partially satisfied, but like I had done something terribly wrong, but what it was I did not know. I walked out into the night. Each step I took filled my senses with delight, I saw things I had never seen before, I saw the wind swirling by, I heard the trees whispering, and I felt the buildings staring back at me, everything was alive. I could
feel the morning coming on, I felt the master calling, I turned and started to walk towards the house, I felt sleepy.

It started to rain in my dream, it was cold rain, the kind that made you feel every drop. Carrie was in my dream, she was kneeling at a river, she was washing her neck, I stepped towards her, she reached down and picked up a sheer red scarf and wrapped it around her neck. She stood, then turned to look at me. She smiled. I smiled back at her, but it was different, she was different, her skin was very pale, there were dark stains on her clothes, she smelled like vanilla.  "You do not belong here." she said, and smiled. She turned and started to walk. I followed her, she kept
walking, and started to speak. " You put me here to wander." I tried to keep up with her, but she didn't slow down, and she didn't wait for me.

I awoke to the sound of someone calling me, they didn't call by name, it seemed like I no longer had a name. "C h i l d. . . . .wake and come forth." I heard. I stood, and saw David standing in the shadows. I took his hand and followed him up the stairs and out of the basement. He led me up a staircase into a huge wing of rooms, we walked past a
dressing room, a sitting room, a small library, and then finally a bedroom. He pulled me towards the bed, and pushed me down, and then crawled over the bed, I moved to stand, and he reached out and pulled me forcefully under him. "Do not forget who you belong to, I am your master, and you will obey." He said he kissed my neck, and my lips, he put his hands underneath my shirt, I could feel him biting me, it was strangely erotic, and arousing. He pulled off my
sweater and tossed it aside he kissed down my neck, and kissed my breasts, I felt his teeth brushing up against my skin, my senses felt a hundred times greater, the slightest touch from him, seemed to bring feelings back, physical feelings, I thought were lost, I felt his touch, it were as if though I hadn't died. I wondered if he were the only one who could make me feel this way. His lovemaking, was frenzied, it had an urgency about it. I felt every touch, every kiss with more intensity than I have ever known, I felt alive, for a few hours anyway.

That day, I had no dreams.

I awoke to the early evening, I knew it must still be light out. I was resting on my side, I felt David's arm around my waist, his face was in my hair, he was awake. "You resemble someone I once knew." he said, pulling me closer to him, he slid his other arm underneath me. His embrace felt comforting, protective, almost like my fathers. You will sleep here, with me." He said. "The others, they don't want me here." I almost whispered. "It does not matter what they want. I am the Master." he said. I felt a little self conscience, I was naked underneath his cool embrace. He moved my hair to the side, and gently touched the two small marks, he had left on my neck, then kissed me. I felt a slight ache in my stomach, and I was a little thirsty.

That night, I ventured back to the white house, that I seemed to know. I came in thru the broken window, and smelled death, I sensed someone near, I saw a woman near the edge of the staircase, she was dead. I turned on the light and looked around, this was my house, my home, Chris's home, who was Chris, I thought, I looked at the woman on the floor, she was white, and a look of terror and confusion stuck on her face. She had silvery black hair, I couldn't see her
face, I felt a rising sense of panic, It looked like Carrie, my Carrie, she looked dead. I reached down and turned her over, It was Carrie, most of neck had been eaten away, she was covered in dried blood, she was white, so white. I stepped back, and felt the sinking feeling in my chest, my friend, my Carrie was gone, she'd never brush my hair again, she'd never bring me sweet pea flowers all spring long, she couldn't love me anymore. I sat on the floor and tried to cry, but nothing came.

Ashe waited in the corner, behind the long curtain, he was able to see the Mistress, she was holding the dead woman, she was angry, he desperately wanted to read he thoughts, but then she'd know that he was here. The master had warned him, to stay away, but his curiosity was almost as insatiable as his thirst.

I sat holding Carrie, my sweet princess, when I caught sight of one of the others, the one who disliked me, I felt danger and gently laid Carries head down, and covered her face with a black dress that was nearby. I stood up, stared at the other and said, "Show yourself coward." Ashe stepped out of the shadows, "You walk on dangerous ground, Mistress." he said. "A worthy Mistress would not show sorrow for those she feeds on." he said. "Don't be a fool, I did not do this, I didn't do this to Carrie, you idiot!" I halfway yelled. Ashe threw back his head and started laughing. "You are the coward, Mistress, it is you that denies what she has done to her friend.", he said. "I didn't, I couldn't have." I said. "Poor, poor Mistress." He said with a chill in his voice. "Its time to learn what you are Mistress, a murderer, just like the rest of us." He turned and went out the window. The terrible realization of what I had done, was slowly returning to me.

That night, I dreamt of Carrie, she was walking ahead of me, she still had the sheer red scarf around her neck, I was running to catch up with her, but the faster I ran, the further away she got from me. I stopped and looked down at the ground, it was white, but tiny beads of red began to form beneath my feat, it felt hot, and tiny flames began to emerge from the red dots, the ground turned to fire, waves of fire, an ocean, of fire, I looked and saw Carrie flailing around, she was on fire, her sheer scarf melted away, her delicate hair, now just a black smear on her head, her flesh on fire, blistering, and peeling away, she was screaming, and screaming, "J u l i a . . . . " I tied to reach out for her, but the fire was too hot, and she slowly sank, beneath the fiery water. I tried to call out to her, but nothing would come out of my mouth, My sweet, beautiful Carrie was gone, left to burn forever and ever. I jumped from the raft I was standing on, into the water, I couldn't Leave her, but when my feet touched the water, it disappeared, I fell to the cold white floor, I was
alone again.

As soon as I awoke, I left the house. I walked to the park, and down the steep little trail that I had walked a hundred times before. Soon I reached a small creek, a huge fallen tree ran along the edge. I sat on the log and tried to cry, but the tears did not come, they would never come. I was all alone again, Carrie was dead, she was in hell and I had put her there. I felt the pain in my heart once more. Carrie's life was taken by my hand, I had eaten from her. I felt such despair and pain, but most of all I felt the unbearable hunger again. I cannot kill any one else. I walked further down the creek and found a big rock hanging halfway over the water, I sat down and watched the moon, it was huge and bright. I sat for hours and thought about what I had become, I didn't even know my name, I had no feeling, no emotion, I was a murderer. I felt the call of the Master. I sat and closed my eyes, the air whispered to me that the sun would wake soon. I again felt the call, it was stronger this time, but distant, I looked at the sky, A pale light began to show. I felt a
thunderous roar in my head, it was David, demanding me home. I knew he would not come, it was too close to sunrise.

I sat up and stared at the sky, with new eyes, I'd never noticed the faces of the clouds, or maybe you just couldn't see them at night, I thought. I stood up and watched the sky, I started to feel warm, and like a thousand hands were pulling me down to towards the ground, it hurt. I felt a tear run down my face as I fell to the ground, I pulled my self up, just
high enough to watch the rising sun.

There were no more days, so there are no more dreams.

© Lola

Febraury 2000 HofP