I hovered above the bed, looking down at my body as it lay there, sleeping. My face was that of someone who slept restlessly, a tortured soul. I turned my vision away from the scene and allowed my form to float slowly upwards. I felt the slight resistance as my form passed through the ceiling and the roof of my home and upwards into the dark, quiet beauty of the star-filled night.

   This was not the first time I had travelled out of my body. I had learned as a child to lull myself into a trance and allow this part of me to rise out of my body, like a mist in the form of a being, and float around my room.

   The first time had been frightening. I remember I thought I'd been dreaming, and when I turned and saw my body laying so still in my bed, I thought I had died. The sharp intake of breath that was to be a scream whisked me back into my body. The terror of the experience stayed with me for many months, but as the memory of my fear subsided my curiosity, like that of any child's, got the best of me. Soon, the trips became more frequent and as my courage and confidence grew, I travelled further and further away from my body.

    As my childhood retreated into manhood, I still continued my out -of-body travelling. Each trip brought more knowledge of control and limitations. I learned of the surge of energy it took to make these trips and of the dangers of staying out of body too long. I knew that once the energy was gone, there was no way to re-enter the body. But I knew my limitations and never dared travel beyond it, thus conserving the needed energy to safely return from my nightly out-of-body journeys.

    Then two weeks ago my wife, Elaine, had died. It had been a hit and run. Two witnesses reported a blue Cherokee Jeep racing away from the scene. The doctor said she hadn't suffered, that death had been instantaneous. If he'd said that just to make me feel better, it hadn't. Her broken, bloodied body painted an horrific picture that will forever linger in my memory.

     My wife of only six months--gone. We'd never have the children, the son and daughter, we had wanted so badly. The son, whom she said might be president of the country one day; the daughter who would become a respected doctor, saving lives everyday. Elaine had come from a wealthy family, and had given it all up for me, a simple carpenter who her parents disapproved of because they said I had lured her away from them. She was twenty-eight, not their little girl anymore.

    "I love Michael more than life itself" she had yelled at her parents. "I will marry him despite your disapproval." Her father had taken me aside one day and said that Elaine had been his most valuable and trusted employee. He'd never said anymore than that but I had the feeling then and more-so now that he meant she was more than a daughter to him. When I questioned Elaine about this, she had said, "If you love me as much as I love you, Michael, don't question me about my past anymore." The subject never arose again between us.

    The two weeks that passed had been the most difficult I've ever lived. Neither my carpentry jobs, nor my parents soothing words and endearing presence fulfilled the void left by Elaine's death. There would be no more hand-in-hand walks on the beach with her; no more weekend trips to our cottage on the lake, where we had made love so many times beneath the moonlight. Ironically, it was at the lake when she would frequently slump into her sombre moods. When I'd ask her why she looked so sad, she would gaze into my eyes and reply, "If I'd met you earlier in my life, Michael, I would not be the person my father molded me to be."

    "What I see is a decent, loving woman," I'd tell her, my thoughts racing back to that conversation about her past, a past that I didn't care about as long as I had Elaine beside me.

    "Oh, Michael, you are a good, God-fearing man. You see only the good in everyone." Then I'd embrace her, and she would hold me tightly, telling me not to release her until morning.

     Now I needed an escape from my loneliness, and my escapism was my out-of-body travel. Only this night my travel took me further than I'd ever dared go before.

    I met to my surprise (I should have known that if I could do this, others could too) others floating along on their nightly journeys, yes others who either sought some peace of mind as I did, or the fulfilment of curiosity as I had. I learned to communicate with them, not verbally or telepathically, but rather an exchange of feelings. It was through this exchange that I learned about the barrier.

    The barrier was not a wall or a line, but more of a force. A boundary, might be another term for it. Its purpose was to keep the dead from the living. On the other side of that barrier, the dead travelled --floated from place to place in a world of limbo. As they approach the barrier and look beyond into the outer-world, it was with a longing, a deep sorrow, an anger. These are the souls who had died in unrest, I learned, souls who died either violently or unexpectedly, and refused to accept the peace that death offers by crossing over onto the path of light.

     My God, I thought, was my Elaine one of them? Suddenly I had to know.

     I moved along the barrier, searching the countenance of the souls crowding near me on the other side, their pain and desperation drifting through the barrier, overwhelming me. I searched until I found a soul who knew of Elaine, had seen her. Through this soul I felt Elaine's pain and anxiety, her longing for me. I wanted this soul to give Elaine a message from me, but she just drifted away, ignoring my plea. The thought of Elaine wandering forever in the void behind the barrier was unbearable. I decided I must find her. I had to tell her to let go, to find the peace she deserved. I realized I had no other alternative but to cross the barrier.

    I floated toward the barrier. Suddenly an effervescent glow, like a silent explosion, erupted. I was driven back with a force that threw my form about like a cloud in a wind. When I managed to control my form, I felt spent, drained of much energy.

    I felt someone summon me, and I turned. It was one of the others, an out-of-body traveller like myself. Go back to your body while you still have the energy, the out-of-body traveller, who I now refer to as my friend, warned.

    I couldn't bear retreating, without knowing the fate of my Elaine. I have learned how to cross the barrier, my friend informed me. Go back to your body, and tomorrow after you have rested and regained your energy, come back and I will show you how to cross over.

    Feeling drained and beaten, I felt I had no choice but to retreat for tonight. I made the journey back to my body and felt its fatigue as I re-entered it. I wept for my Elaine, knowing full well that tomorrow night I'd be back to the barrier to meet my friend who would show me the way to cross over.

    The next night I prepared for the journey to free Elaine. It was like a Godly mission. My soul left my body and passed through my home and rose toward the starlit darkness, feeling the night breeze tug gently at my form as it passed through. I saw other forms as they drifted around me. Some drifted aimlessly, enjoying the freedom of being bodiless and others travelled with purpose, as I did. I looked for my friend, but did not see him yet.

    I drifted upward, rising far above the earth toward the stars until the barrier and my friend was in sight. He was waiting for me. There would be no retreat tonight, not before I had communicated with Elaine and released her from that place of despair into peace, I told myself. Her eternal happiness mattered more than anything else in this world to me.

     In our exchange of feelings, my friend and I communicated. Crossing the barrier will take more energy and control than you have ever needed before, he informed me. I was to watch and do as he did. The living soul of my friend compressed itself into an ever decreasing form, and gathering extraordinary speed it threw itself against the barrier and burst out on the other side, expanding instantly.

     Once my friend was fully expanded, I compressed my form as he had done, feeling a drain of energy and control . I felt the smallness of myself and knew it wasn't enough. I released more energy and my form collapsed into a tiny speck as if it were suddenly deflated. I began to pick up speed and threw myself against the barrier. As my form passed through the barrier, it felt as if I was coming apart into little pieces.

      It had only taken seconds to complete the total crossing into the barrier.  I expanded to my normal form and felt exhausted, as if I was back in my body and had done a three-mile run.

     I was suddenly overwhelmed with the souls of the dead. Their pain drew from me what I thought might be tears, but it was released in the form of energy. I quickly pulled away and left them calling out to me, as I floated over to my friend.

      My friend informed me that he was going back to his body before his soul was completely out of energy. He advised me to do the same. He added that he couldn't bear the pain and anger emanating from the dead souls there. I informed him that I would not return until I had found my Elaine. Understanding my urgent need, my friend turned and started back outside the barrier.

     Though I could hardly bear the pain and sadness around me, I started my search for Elaine. I was tiring quickly and had so little time left. I moved quickly, searching from face to face, inquiring of each any information they might have of Elaine. I drifted on and on, always staying close to the barrier, feeling my energy dwindle slowly.

    Finally, as I approached a group of souls, one turned and beckoned me to follow, drifting deeper into the mass of souls. I looked back at the barrier and then turned and followed the soul, my guide, knowing this may be my only chance to find Elaine.

     We drifted on and on. The countenance of the souls changed as we drifted further and further from the barrier. Theirs was still pain and despair, but I also felt anger and hatred. The anger and hatred was directed at me, because the souls knew that I was alive and could return to my body. I felt their anger intensely, more-so than the pain from the others. They gathered around me tightly , impeding my passage through their world, clawing hands reaching out for me, stricken faces crying silently as if the Devil himself tortured them.

     My guide circled around them, and only then did they allow me to pass. I continued on, tiring even more, as if my energy depleted itself more rapidly the further I got from the barrier. Suddenly, my guide stopped. I could see another barrier ahead. I approached it and my guide turned to me, with a look of great sadness and then turned his back on me and stared down. I floated closer and saw a great opening before us. The pain, despair, and anger I had known earlier of this place was nothing to what overwhelmed me at the sight of these tortured souls. Their pain was so great that their forms could not contain themselves. Their forms were shapeless and continually thrashed about. My guide told me that unlike the souls on this side of the barrier, those would never be free from the pain of their deaths. The souls here have defied God's commandments.

      All at once a terrible pain shot through me, sapping a tremendous amount of my energy. In the depths of the opening, I saw Elaine. My Elaine's tortured soul burning there beyond any help from anyone. How can this be? my thoughts cried out. She was such a loving person.

     My guide turned to me, his head down, feeling my pain. She has killed six men, my guide informed me, sending shock waves through me, robbing more of my energy. Though they hide their secret well, the Nero family is the most corrupted, ruthless family in your country, my guide continued. Elaine had killed those who threatened to destroy her family. Her death had been a retribution by an opposing family.

     Shocked and bewildered, I gazed longingly at the woman I once knew, or thought I had known, and loved. At one point her eyes, or what looked like eyes in empty sockets, found mine and stared briefly. She then continued on, her form thrashing about. I turned and fled.

     I drifted back towards where I thought we had come. With nothing but the drifting souls of the dead, there was no way to judge direction. I moved faster, inquiring of the souls as I went which way to go. The only replies that I received were the feelings of hate. I searched for my guide, feeling my strength fading away. The souls gathered around me, crowding me, slowing me down. I moved faster, using energy I knew I would need to get through the barrier. The souls still surrounded me, their anger and hatred consuming me.

     Then my guide appeared and circled them, and again they parted, allowing me to pass. My guide beckoned me to hurry. I followed as he quickly led me back to the barrier. My energy was nearly gone. I moved faster and focused on making my form smaller. With an effort my remaining energy could muster, my form decreased. I expended the last of my energy as my form reached that deflated feeling again.

      The first vision I saw as I regained consciousness was of my body. I tried to re-enter it, promising myself that my out-of-body travels were over. But wait something was different. My body wasn't as the last time I had seen it, in my bedroom, sleeping in gentle repose, but stretched out in a casket in some strange room. A door opened and a man I'd never seen before led my father and mother into the room. They walked over to the casket.