"Worms?"

"Red eelworms, yes, six of them. They’re crucial for the mixture."

"Are you reading that right? I don't remember any there being any cooking spells that call for worms. I thought worms were strictly for ointments."

"Listen, Gretta," the lanky woman said while passing her stunted partner a shovel. "That's why I read the spell books, and not you. You were the one that swore up and down ground up cats testicles were needed for that love potion. Remember?"

Gretta took the shovel, snickering at the memory. "You are so right, Hanna. That young mans proclivity grew twenty-two inches overnight!"

"Poor thing," Hanna said. "He passed out any time he got the least bit excited. " She sighed and smoothed out her apron. "Now, go dig in the south orchard, between the weeping willow tree and the catseye plants. Remember to spin around three times to your left before you dig. And recite the incantation loudly this time."

Gretta stood, nodding. Hanna looked to the hourglass and waved her hands at her in a shooing motion. "Hurry, it's almost time to add the final ingredients. We must have this finished before young David's birthday celebration tomorrow."

"Oh, yes, he is such a sweet young boy. What spell did his people request to be in his cake?"

"They asked that he be given a long life. And after eating this cake, a long life he will have indeed."

Gretta lumbered out, tittering. A black cat slinked from a dark corner of the one-room shanty. Barely evaded her fast moving girth, it jumped upon the table beside the kettle where the mixture was being prepared.

"Bitch." the cat muttered.

"Now, there, Manfred. You are always so bitter to poor Gretta."

"You would be too if it’d been your testicles snipped for some stupid potion, you daft hag!"

"It's not as if you needed them, now is it? You aren't even a proper cat. What appeal would other cats have for you, anyway?"

"You don't get it, do you, you half-witted crone! I'm a cat! I can clean myself with my tongue! Who needs any other cat, or anything, when you can lick any part of your body with your tongue."

"Oh, such dirty talk for a small animal." Hanna said to the cat while adding a pinch of this and a tweak of that to the mixture boiling in the large cauldron inside the fireplace.

"I'm a grand wizard, and a demagogue demon from seven centuries back! I did not choose to be put into the body of this flea ridden mongrel creature! If you and your hosebag associate hadn't conjured me into this things body I probably would have been the advisor to some far off king, with access to a slew of gold and concubines!"

"Oh, go and shoo, now, you ungrateful little thing." Hanna swung out at the cat with the knurled stick she had stirred the concoction with. It struck the cats fur, scorching its side with a scalding sizzle. The cat leapt from the table, howling, barely scampering out of the way of Grettas excited return. She dripped wet mud and green moss, holding up the corners of her soiled apron.

"I have some! Oh, are they ever fat, too! Look!"

"Splendid! Toss them into the kettle, and that will finish it. Quickly now, it's almost time."

Gretta shook a handful of squirming mud from her apron into the cauldron. A tremendous gust of smoldering fog filled the room. Hanna pronounced the potion ready.

Gretta hurried off to get a cake pan.

"Hanna, what’s the matter? You look so sad." Gretta asked as she waddled into the cottage. Hanna sat in the corner of the wide room, holding onto her broom absently, staring into an empty corner.

"Poor soul. I don't understand it. I was sure I read the directions correctly."

"Whatever do you mean, Hanna, what’s happened?"

"That cake we baked the other week, the one for that sweet boy David?"

"Oh, yes, he was a dear lad. The birthday cake. What, he didn't like it?"

"No, it’s not that. It...it was... the spell..."

"What? The one for him to be given a long life? How can we know that the spell worked this soon?"

"Oh, it worked, it worked." Hanna said. "It's just that..." She stood and leaned the broom in the corner, sighing.

"What, dear, tell me."

Gretta wattled to sit in a chair near Hanna. The cat jumped from the chair, barely saving itself from being squashed.

"Bitch." the cat muttered as it sauntered away.

"Well, the woman came today with the bad news. It seems that poor David took a long walk the night following his party. The area is dangerous, and even with the new spell upon him his family worried. He didn’t return deep into the night, and a search party went out. They found him, finally, at the edge of the swamp."

"Whatever was he doing there?" Gretta asked, itching with apprehension.

"Well, actually, he was floating in the muck." Hanna sat down beside Gretta with a groan, and shook her head. "I think I went to the wrong page in that spell book. Stupid old book, it's so hard for me to read anymore."

"What did you do wrong?" Gretta asked, her stubby hands clutching at her wart-encrusted chin.

"It wasn't a long life that he received when eating that cake. He got something else." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "He was gutted from groin to chin when they found him."

"Oh, dear!" Gretta cried out. "Then instead of a long life, he got..."

Yes," Hanna answered. "He got a long knife. They found it embedded in his skull."

"Now, Hanna, You really need to get your eyes checked for glasses. This is no time to let vanity take hold."

She squinted at Gretta and nodded. "I'll fly into town tomorrow and take care of it." Clapping her hands to dismiss the sordid ordeal, she stood up to face Gretta. "Now, did you get it?"

"Yes." Gretta wiggled in the chair until she could reach into a side pocket of her black dress. "Still warm, too."

Hanna carefully scooped up the contents from Grettas hand. "Oh, superb! Lets get started then. Get the pie pan out and ready, they’ll be here real soon."

Gretta scurried off towards the kitchen, almost stomping over the cat. Hanna walked over to the cauldron, gently placing the warm mouse brain onto a red scarf laid out on the table. She leaned close to the spell book and reread the steps of the enchantment elixir. She placed the brain and scarf into the cauldron and began to stir. Turning her head, she called out to Gretta.

"Ah, yes, such a respected and famous client we have. And when he’s elected as president, he will have complete immortality, as well! This spell will finally put us on the map."

A stiff wind blew through an open window, flipping the pages of the spell book. The pages riffled as Hanna stirred and dreamed of finally having the chance to make a big impression. Perhaps she could even move out of the swamp. As she dreamed of being a president’s adviser, she turned to finish reading from the chapter with the spell that would guarantee the person taking it to turn wholly immoral.