The Radio
by R. Thomas Riley

         Gus sighed as he pulled his umpteenth cigarette from his pack of Pall Mall’s and lit it, as he looked outside of his idling Toyota at the sea of cars surrounding him. The air conditioner had gone on the blitz almost three hours before and the temperature had been soaring since then. What the fuck is going on up there? He thought for the tenth time in as many minutes. He glanced at his watch. He had been stuck in this goddamn traffic jam for almost six hours now. Gus blew his horn again, just for the fuck of it. He knew that it was not helping his progress, but at least it made him feel a little better. He smiled slightly, as more drivers joined in as well with his frustrated horn blowing.
         Gus produced his handkerchief again and wiped the pouring sweat from his face. It had to be in the 90’s by now.
         “Fuck!” he exclaimed, as he pounded his fist onto the steering wheel.
          He reached down and turned the radio on. Static. Gus fiddled with the dial trying to find something to take his mind off of his situation.
          “Ah!” he sighed with satisfaction. “Christina.”
         Now that is one hot chick I’d like to fuck! he thought merrily. At 45, he knew that someone like that would never even look twice at him, but he could dream, couldn’t he?           
         He looked around at the cars that were surrounding his to see if anyone was paying attention to him. He smiled again. Everyone else was too wrapped up in his or her own private hells to pay him any mind. Gus unzipped his trousers and grabbed his penis, closed his eyes and slowly began masturbating…


         “Hey, buddy!” a voice said, interrupting Gus’s fantasy.
         He started and his eyes jerked open. He looked wildly around hi! s car and at first did not remember where he was. A tap came at his car window again; more insistent this time. Gus looked at the man standing outside his car. Fuck. The man motioned for him to roll down his window. Gus cracked his window a bit and smiled nervously at the cop standing outside his car.
         “Roll your window down all the way, sir,” the uniform ordered briskly.
         Gus slowly rolled his window down the rest of the way as the cop smiled down at him.
         “I know that being stuck in this traffic jam is a bitch, but you can’t expose yourself in public, sir.”
         Gus looked down at his lap, his hand still clutching his penis, and was suddenly very embarrassed.
         “I’m gonna have to ask you to put that away now,” the cop said with a smile.
         “Sure thing, officer! ,” Gus said sheepishly, then, “Fucking pig,” he muttered under his breath.
         The cop quit smiling and looked at Gus. “Excuse me? Alright, pal, I’m going to have to see your license and registration.”
         “What for?”
         “Because I said so, that’s why, wise guy.”
         Gus fumbled for his license and registration and handed them to the cop. The cop grabbed them and walked back to his patrol car behind Gus. Shit, shit, shit, why did I have to go and do that, Gus thought disgustedly. He was always getting himself into trouble with his mouth. Marlene had always chided him about that. Stupid bitch, he hated her. Gus looked in his rear view mirror, watching the cop talking into his radio mike.
         “He knows, Gus.”
         “Huh? Who said that?” Gus exclaimed, as he looked wildly aroun! d his car.
         “He’s going to find her and know what a bad thing you did, Gus,” the voice sing-songed again.
         Gus looked behind him. There was no one in the back seat and he didn’t see anybody anywhere around his car. He looked back at the cop. A sheen of sweat broke out on his forehead. The cop was looking right at him and frowning slightly.
         “Who said that?” he asked again, the beginnings of panic in his voice.
         “Quit acting so suspicious,” the voice chided. “He’s going to see how nervous you are, Gus.”
         Gus looked at his radio and frowned. The voice was coming from his radio. He was sure of it. He leaned down close to it and whispered, “Hello?”
         “Hello, Gus,” the radio chimed merrily.
         “What the fuck is going on?” he puzzled.         
         “You’ve got more important things to worry about right now, Gus. That cop is already suspicious. If you’re not careful, he’s gonna find out about Marlene.”
         “This isn’t happening,” Gus said in disbelief, shaking his head.
         He switched the radio off and sat back in his seat and took a deep breath. What if that cop found Marlene? What was he going to do? That cop wouldn’t understand. Gus hadn’t meant to hurt her. He loved her, but she had hurt him so bad. He shouldn’t have hit her so hard, but she had really pissed him off. She had called him a loser and a lot of other nasty names. She had enjoyed belittling him and making him feel about three inches tall. Gus had finally snapped. Now, his wife of fifteen years was lying tied and gagged in the trunk of his car. Gus still did not know what he was planning to do with her. The thought of killing her was totally against his ! very nature, yet, if he let her go, she would for sure have his ass arrested and thrown in jail. Or worse yet, she would kill him herself somehow, some way, down the road.
         “That’s right, Gus. That cop can’t find her. You’re lucky right now that she is still unconscious or she would be screaming her frigging head off right about now,” the voice laughed smugly.
         “Ok, this is not happening,” Gus said slowly. “I am just stressed out because I have my wife in the trunk of my car and I have a cop breathing down my neck because he caught me masturbating. That’s all.”
         As he finished this statement of his sanity, he glared at the radio, daring it to contradict him. The radio was silent. Mocking him. Geesh, now I am attributing an actual personality to this fucking thing, Gus thought disgustedly.
         His head jerked up at the knock at! his window again. He took a deep calming breath and rolled down the window. He offered the stone-faced cop a nervous smile.
         “Hey, officer, about what happened a few minutes ago,” he rushed. “Could we just forget about--”
         “Ok, buddy,” the cop interrupted. “I’ve been called many things in my time, and being called a “fucking pig,” will definitely not make my day, but you checked out with the computer, and I understand that being stuck in this traffic can be pretty stressful, so I am going to let you off, pal.”
         “Thank you, oh, thank you, officer,” Gus said quickly, reaching for his ID and license before the cop decided to change his mind.
         “He knows, Gus,” the radio spoke up as the cop made his way back to his patrol car. “He’s just going to follow you now and see what you are going to do with Marlene.”
       ! ;  Gus looked at the radio again. “You’re probably right.” If this thing was going to keep talking to him, then he might as well be polite. Marlene would approve of that.
         “What would you say I should do, then?” he asked politely.
         “I would remain calm for the moment, because he’s still watching you, trying to decide if he made a mistake letting you off with a warning, I’ll bet.”
         Gus casually glanced in his rear view mirror at the cop behind him. He was watching him with an indiscernible look on his face. Damn it, he is watching me! Gus thought in horror.
         At that moment, Marlene woke up. She was not happy in the least. As she started kicking the inside of the trunk, Gus swore loudly. He chanced a look back at the cop but he was looking down at something in his car. He had not noticed Gus’ car rocking back and forth yet.! He would soon, though.
         “You’re going to have to go shut that bitch up,” the radio hissed. “He’s going to look up any second and see what is going on!”
         “What the fuck am I supposed to do?” Gus asked, panic beginning to bloom in his voice.
         “Grab that hammer on the seat and go back there and hit her with it,” the radio offered.
         “But he’ll see me for sure if I do that,” Gus said exasperated.
         “Would you rather take the chance that he looks up and sees your fucking car?”
         Gus grabbed the hammer and opened his door. He quickly looked at the other drivers, but they were not paying him any attention. He sauntered as casually as he could to the back of his car. Casually, my ass, his mind screamed. You are about to open your trunk and hit your wife with a g! oddamn hammer with a fucking cop sitting right behind you!
         Sweat poured into his eyes as he stood before the trunk of his car. Marlene was screaming her head off in there. It was a good thing that he had gagged the bitch, or else he would be done for sure by now. He glanced back at the cop. He was still writing something on a notepad. Gus reached down to open the trunk and froze. Fuck! I forgot the key! He stood there for a few seconds, painfully aware that his time was running short. He leaned down placing his ear to his trunk. He tapped lightly on the lid and the struggling ceased. She was listening now. Listening to see who had tapped the trunk, whether they be friend or foe.
         “Marlene?” Gus whispered. “You need to quiet down now.”
         He strained to hear the muffled response. Boy, was she pissed. It sounded like she said something to the effect of, “You f! ucking bastard”, or something like that. Her struggles resumed with a renewed vigor. He was actually going to have to knock her out, as much as he did not want to. He quickly made his way back to the open driver’s side door and reached in to take the keys out of the ignition.
         “How’s it coming?” the radio asked.
         “It’s going great, you asshole,” Gus shot back irately.
         “Excuse me, sir? Who are you talking to?”
         Gus went rigid as he heard the cop’s voice behind him, dropping the keys in between the seats in the process. Fuck! he slowly straightened up and turned to face the cop. A forced smile on sweaty face.
         “Huh?” he managed stupidly.
         “I asked if you were having a problem,” the cop said warily, his hand resting lightly on the butt of his service revolve! r.
         “Uh, no problem, officer,” Gus stammered. “No, problem at all.”
         “Yeah right, no problems,” the radio quipped.
         Gus whirled around and looked at the radio. “Will you please shut up!” he hissed.
         The cop had backed away as Gus had whirled around and now he was studying Gus with guarded vigilance. “Ok, sir,” he said tightly. “I want you to step away from the car and keep your hands where I can see them.”
         Marlene must have heard the cop’s voice, because now she was practically tearing the inside of the trunk apart. At least, that’s what it sounded like to Gus. He carefully straightened up again and slowly turned around to face the cop. He furtively sneaked a look around at the other drivers. They had finally noticed the commotion and most were doing their best to ignore it. Like good Ne! w Yorkers, Gus thought distractedly. Some of them, however, were furiously dialing on their cell phones calling in the confrontation.
         “Ok, I want you to drop that hammer on the ground,” the cop ordered tersely.
         Gus looked down at the hammer in his left hand. He stared at it stupidly.
         “Help me somebody!” screamed Marlene from the trunk.
         Gus looked at the cop, but he seemed not to hear Marlene’s screams. He was oblivious to them.
         “Put the hammer down, now!” the cop ordered again cutting into Gus’s mind.
         “You’re going to have to take him out, Gus,” the radio said.
         “I can’t do that, he’s a cop,” Gus said over his shoulder.
         The cop had finally had enough. He drew his gun from its hols! ter and leveled it at Gus. “Put the fucking hammer down now, sir!” he said, his voice cracking slightly.
         “You can take him, Gus, he’s scared shitless.”
         “No.”
         “Do you want to go to jail?”
         “No.”
         “Then you are going to have to take him out,” the radio said matter-of-factly.
         “Can’t you hear that?” Gus moaned softly.
         “Hear what?” the cop said cautiously.
         “The radio? It’s wanting me to take you out,” Gus said wryly.
         “No, I don’t hear anything,” the cop said. “Now, put the hammer down and we can talk about this, ok, pal?”
         “Gus! What is going on?”
         Both men turned to the newcomer in! startled surprise.
         “Officer, what are you doing with a gun on this man?” the newcomer asked.
         “Bill?” Gus sputtered.
         “Sir, do you know this man?” the cop asked, his gun still trained on Gus.
         “Yes, this is Gus Blackwood, he’s my business partner.”
         “He’s been fucking Marlene,” the radio offered.
         “No, he has not,” Gus said sharply.
         “Oh, yes, he has. Take a whiff of his clothes. Her perfume is all over him.”
         Both men looked at Gus as he talked to someone behind him, yet, there was no one else in the car.
         “Gus, what’s going on?” Bill asked cautiously.
         “Lean over here, Bill, I want to smell you.”
         “What?”
         “Lean over here. I. Want. To. Smell. You.” Gus stated clearly enunciating each word.
         Around them the traffic started moving. None of the three men noticed at all. They were locked in their own little world. Sensing something was amiss, as a rabbit senses a hawk, the people driving by kept their eyes glued straight in front of them, not even daring to honk as they tried to negotiate around the patrol vehicle and Gus’s vehicle.
         “Sir, I think that you need to step away,” the cop said slowly, preternaturally sensing the reason for Gus’s request.
         “I. Want. To. Smell. Him.”
         Gus tightened his grip on the hammer, coiling himself. The cop noticed this. Things were about to go to shit. Real fast. He watched helplessly as Bill moved closer to Gus and as the man lean! ed into him and inhaled deeply. He paused as if trying to remember a long forgotten fact.
         “How long have you been fucking Marlene?”
         “What are you talking about, Gus?” Bill asked in confusion.
         “Atta boy, Gus,” the radio encouraged.
         “How long?” Gus asked painfully.
         “Gus, I don’t know what you are talking about,” Bill said uncomfortably, slowly backing up.
         “Were you with her last night?”
         “No.”
         “I can smell her all over you.”
         “Gus, you are not well.”
         “I’m fine. Never been better, Bill,” Gus said calmly. “Why don’t we ask her? She’s in the trunk.”
         “Who’s in the trunk, sir?” the c! op asked.
         “Marlene.”
         “Oh god,” Bill whispered. “What have you done, Gus?”
         “He’s been fixing the books, too, Gus,” the radio added.
         “You’ve been fucking my wife, and if that is not enough, you’ve been fixing the books on me as well?” Gus asked. “Fucking me.”
         The sounds of distant approaching sirens filled the air as Bill slowly shook his head in denial of Gus’s claims.
         Gus threw the hammer at the cop with lightening speed. Bill looked on in horror as the hammer slammed into the cop’s head. The sickening sound of cracking skull filled the silence as the cop dropped to the ground like a rag doll.
         “He’s going to run, Gus,” the radio screamed. “Grab the gun and shoot him.”
          Bill looked fro! m Gus to the gun lying beside the unconscious cop mentally gauging the distance. Gus smiled sadistically. “I know what you’re thinking, Bill. Try it, give me a reason,” he said calmly.
         “You’ve gone insane,” Bill said hysterically.
         “He’s already given you a reason, kill him, kill him,” the radio sing-songed gleefully.
         As if sensing Gus’s intention, Bill turned and ran. Gus calmly bent down and picked up the gun. It’s weight felt good in his hand. He turned to watch Bill retreating down the street and sighted down the barrel of the pistol and pulled the trigger. The gun roared in the deserted street shattering the silence. Bill stumbled once, but stayed on his feet, still running. Gus smiled and pulled the trigger again. This time Bill fell and lie still, his blood pooling on the street from his exploded skull.
         Gus looked up as th! e squeal of tires came from down the street. A police car had blocked the street and two policemen had taken cover behind the car their guns trained on him.
         “Put the gun down!” they both screamed at once.
         Gus looked at them and then turned and got back in his car. More cars were arriving on scene, effectively blocking off the street in both directions. Gus sighed as he lit a cigarette.
         “Well, you did it now,” the radio admonished.
         “Yep, I sure have,” Gus agreed.
         “You always were a fuck up, Gus,” the radio laughed.
         Now, Gus recognized the voice. It was Marlene. How could he have not recognized it before?
         “Yep, Gus, it’s me,” the radio laughed.
         “You fucking bitch,” Gus breathed. 
          He turned around in his seat and crawled into the backseat. He savagely ripped the seat backing from its anchors intent on getting to Marlene in the trunk. He paused in confusion as he peered into the dark cavity of the trunk. It was empty.
         As he looked up, a bullet from a sniper’s rifle shattered his vision as it entered his right eye socket.
         In the car, the radio crackled laughter.

© 2002 by R. Thomas Riley.

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