THE VILLAGE VOICE
36 Cooper Square
New York, NY 10003

Week of July 3 - 9, 2002

Feature Article - Missing Student Found

CO-ED CASE CRACKED
by Robin Duckworth

   After a series of grisly events that have left New Jersey residents horrified over the past 48 hours, missing Rutgers University Freshman Alice Pleasance Liddell was found staggering and incoherent on the outskirts of Atlantic City, NJ this morning.

   The scratched and disheveled 18 year old Syracuse, NY native was discovered by middle-aged Pennsylvania hunters Jackson Lutwidge and Henry Frowde who spotted the muddied nude teenager while tracking game in the sandy uninhabited forest region known locally as The Pine Barrens.

   "After an hour of running we'd cornered this buck between some deadfalls and a cliff face." stated Philadelphia resident Lutwidge.

   "Then the weirdest thing happened." added fellow Philadelphian Frowde. "The buck ducks into the rotted out base of a trunk and then disappears!"

   "We checked all around" Continued Lutwidge "and for the life of us couldn't figure out where it went. The trunk was only about twenty feet long. It had no holes or breaks in it, and tapered down to a few inches at the far end! It made no sense! We went back to the other end of the trunk to see if we missed it crouched in the shadows and thats when we saw her!"

   "Right. For a second I actually thought she was the Jersey Devil!" added an embarassed Frowde. "But thank God Jackson kept his cool. He knocked my rifle aside and caught the poor girl before she fell down. We wrapped her in our coats and carried her to the nearest ranger station."

   Ocean County State Trooper John Tenniel treated Liddell for dehydration and exposure at his one-man post at the southern border of the Pinelands National Reserve.

   "The girl was in a severe state of shock" Tenniel stated gravely. "I cleaned and dressed about two dozen wounds on her legs, forearms, belly, and the right side of her head. Most of the damage was superficial and it didn't appear she had lost much blood. Though many of the cuts and scratches looked to be inflicted by the local plant life, the scars on her head appear to have been made by some large animal's claws, possibly a bear. She almost lost an eye."

   When asked about the rumor that when discovered Liddell had been heard mumbling such nonsensical phrases as "one to make me small" and "off with my head" Trooper Tenniel merely replied "just imagine what you might say after being kidnapped, drugged, assaulted, and abandoned half-naked in the wild."

   Readers will note that it was only two days ago that Alice Liddell and her two college roommates Lorina and Edith (last names withheld pending parental identification) were reported missing by R.U. Euclid Hall's fourth floor resident advisor Anita Rackham.

   Twelve hours later a series of email tips (signed by an as then unidentified "Lewis C." and later traced to a computer lab in the Math building at Rutgers University) to the Piscataway Police Department led detectives to the office of Quantum Physics Professor Charlie Dodgson.

   After an intense two hours of questioning, Dodgson, a native of Christ Church, England, and an Oxford Visiting Professor, broke down and admitted to abducting the three students under the pretense of an afternoon drive. Professor Dodgson claimed he and the three female students had spent the afternoon motoring from Folly Bridgehad, NJ to Godstow, NJ, and back, via Route 1515.

   Dodgson lead police down a dirt road off of route 1515 North to his abandoned car which still contained the remains of Liddel's roommates. Both doors on the right side of the car had been torn off and lay several dozen yards away. Both tires on the right side were slashed and shredded.

   Dodgson claims he walked back to his apartment after the attack and abduction. Police report that it was at this point that Dodgson's confession started to become irrational and downright imcomprehensible.

    "He'd clearly stated faking an automobile breakdown in the countryside and offering the girls homebaked brownies containing hallucinogenic mushrooms" Piscataway Detective David Salter quoted.

   "He began removing their clothing...and...well the rest really doesn't make any sense. I mean, he must have eaten some of those brownies himself. Come on! A giant white rabbit broke into his station wagon, eviscerated two of the girls, and ran off with the third slung over its shoulder?" Detective Salter finished with a disgusted shake of his head.

   "The Professor is clearly insane. I hope the twisted bastard gets the chair."

   Police still have no idea how Liddell managed to traverse over 160 miles south through New Jersey townships, farms, and highways without being seen, after her escape from the crazed Dodgson.

   With the help of Rutgers Syst-Op Technicians Janice Snark and Berne Wocky, police investigators have ascertained that the email tips they received from one "Lewis C." about Dodgson were most likely sent by the British Physics'  Professor himself.

   FBI criminal psychologist and profiler Reggie Hargreaves stated early this morning that "more and more evidence is piling up that Charlie Dodgson was a functional schizophrenic for most of his life. It would appear, at this point, that the Professor suffered a major psychotic breakdown during his abduction of the three young women."

   Rumors from Summit Hospital, Summit, NJ, of unusual results obtained from a rape-kit performed on Liddell started surfacing this morning. Hospital officials have replied "no comment" to any and all inquiries.