We named our son Edgar, after me. Iım Ed, so we mostly called him Eddie. But sometimes we called him Killer, on account of he bit the hand that fed him. Hard. He started that with Sheena when she first started giving him solids, those little jars of vomit-looking peas and fruit. He'd pretend like he was gonna go for the food and then he'd chomp that mouth down on Sheena's wrist, and I swear he had some kind of evil gleam in his eye whenever he did it. He was born with sharp little teeth. Sheena had terrible labor pains and I used to say, after Eddie was born, that it was him trying to chew his way outa there.

   She didn't like much at all about Eddie. We lived in a dump of a shack with one closet between the two bedrooms. The closet was more like a cupboard, just enough space for Sheenaıs collection of nightclothes. Sheıd put him in there when she went out clubbing with her girlfriends. I worked nights in a bar, so usually I'd leave around eight pm and Sheena was supposed to be staying home with Eddie. She might be home for as long as an hour after I left, and then sheıd go out until two or three in the morning and forget to let him out of the closet when she came in. Iıd get home an hour or two after Sheena and find her passed out on the bed, makeup smudged all over her face, high heels flung any old place on the floor. So Eddie was in the closet six, seven hours sometimes. She'd give him a Tupperware thing to take in there in case he had to pee. Gotta hand it to Eddie for this one time he managed to make some use of what he had. Can't blame the kid for being bored out of his mind and mad as hell besides. But still, I don't know if I ever woulda thought of doing what Eddie done with that container.

   This one time Iım talking about, what happened was he found some of Sheena's sexy Victoria's Secret stuff in the closet. God knows how he knew what it was, it being so dark in there, but I guess he could tell enough by feeling them. Five skimpy little thongs and one crotchless leotard, he collected them and laid them one by one in his Tupperware container of pee. Must have drunk a hell of a lot of water because the thing was full to the brim. When Sheena opened the door there was Eddie dressed in her urine-soaked leotard with his dick hanging out and the thongs wrapped around his wrists and ankles. He greeted his mother by grabbing her shoulders and sinking his teeth into her right tit. She dragged him out the closet and slammed his head against the wall a few times, and then she tugged all the underwear off him and told him to get his ass in the shower right now or else sheıd really hurt him. Tried to wash out the urine smell with Woolite. When I came home she showed me the bite marks around her nipple. "I told him he better get his ass in the shower or else heıd learn what pain really was," she said. I went into Eddieıs room and found him lying on his bed. The right side of his forehead was swollen purple. He said something to me but I didnıt catch what it was, on account of his speech was fuzzy and slurred.

   She wanted to send him away. I said if we did that the institution would want to know how he got the way he is and she said so what, we tell them he was born that way, cause he was. That's when I asked her, the one and only time I ever asked her if she done anything to Eddie. Done anything, what the hell does that mean, she said. Like, maybe beat him too hard, I said, or, maybe when you were drunk you might of got confused and, you know, touched him or something. She gave me a backhand slap and then for the rest of the week I got the silent treatment. Sheena was the one who talked the most in our house, so that was a real quiet week.

   I guess I knew things about Eddie that Sheena didn't. If I had told her she just woulda beat the shit out of him some more and I wasn't one to advocate that sort of thing as a way to straighten a kid out. Seemed like it just made Eddie more crooked. When Sheena was at her daytime job Eddie would dress up in her clothes all the time and get in bed with me when I was trying to get some sleep. He'd climb on top of me in a dress and nothin under it, sayin he was Sheena, he was gonna be her and I was gonna be me, it was a game he thought of. Come on Dad, it's fun. He'd pull that a few days in a row before I'd tell him if he did that sick shit again I was gonna tell Sheena, and that would hold him off for a few months or so. Then he'd be back in my bed again, Sheena's skirts sliding over my legs as he tried to rub himself on me. He's a sick fuckin kid, I told Sheena plenty of times. But it was just the one time that I asked if she done anything to him. I figured to bring it up again wasnıt worth another week of the silent treatment.

   He turned fifteen and skipped out a week later. Didn't leave a note or nothing. Sheena sure didn't miss him. She said he's old enough to survive out there, I ain't gonna keep him from learning how to live in the world. I do that, she said, what kinda mother would I be? A fuckin awful one, I thought, but didn't ever say out loud. She left me three years later and took everything. Told me it wouldn't be such a good idea to try and fight her for it, and if Eddie came back I'd be a fool to try to dump him on her. I never hired a lawyer or nothing. Wasn't like we had all that much in the first place and I didn't miss the things she took.

   Thing is, I'm not the only person afraid of Sheena. I think her own father lets her order him around cause he got the feeling she could be dangerous. I got that feeling too and now I think I know for sure, on account of Eddie being in the papers for what he done. I read somewhere that these things are inherited and I sure never hurt nobody, I was the kid getting beat up every day in school. I cried when my cat got run over. So I figure Eddie got his mean streak from his mother.

   What really got me when I read about it in the papers was what they said about how the husband was treated. The woman, she was covered in piss and blood, bitten about a hundred times, mostly on the tits. Throat cut. She'd been tied to her bed and pissed on and bitten before he bled her to death. But her husband, he was killed immediately after he answered the door, execution style by a handgun with a silencer. One shot. Then the killer let him lie right where he fell and moved on to the woman. The killer never touched the husband again after that. Maybe forgot the husband was even there. Husband never saw what his wife had to go through.

   What I think is, the husband worked all the time when he was alive and never knew much about what went on with his wife and kid at home. If there was any sort of trouble there, that guy never had any idea, or at least that's what he would of said to people. Something else I'm thinking is, the killer could see how the husband didn't matter and that's why he got rid of him so quick. Never gave him a thought after that single shot, I bet.

   The killer took the kid with him when he left the house, the paper said. Police are still trying to find them. She's a seven-year-old girl. More time goes by, less likely she is to be found alive, that's the way it goes.

   A few days after I read about it I got a call and after hanging up I went into Eddie's old room and made up the bed. He said he was coming home again. Said if I tried anything like calling the police he'd kill me. He was bringing a visitor and he needed his old room to himself so he could spend time in private with her. I told him it was great to hear from him. I said he was my son and I loved him no matter what. Said I would never even consider turning him in-- what kind of father would I be. Unless, that is, he tried to run away again. I told him if he did that I'd be on the phone with the cops the second I realized he was gone.

   I guess he made sure to hang on to his key. I ran to the front door when I heard it turning in the lock. The door banged open and he shoved the girl through, his hands clamped around her upper arms. The rope around her wrists was rough and frayed, chafing her skin, and I could see beads of blood in the raw spots. She made it worse by twisting around, trying to get free of him. I thought of telling Eddie I had a necktie he could use instead of the rope. I didnıt say it though, because I thought he might make me tie it on her myself and I didnıt want any part of that. She looked at me and whimpered.

   "Police are looking for you," I told her. "They know you been taken." Eddie locked his right arm around the girlıs neck and took his left hand off her in order to get out his gun. He pointed it at my face. "Whatıd I tell you," he said. "Keep quiet, Ed, or your headıs gonna be splattered all over the wall."

   I looked the girl in the eyes. "Sorry," I said to her. She moaned. I turned around, walked back to my bedroom and shut the door behind me.

   It isn't that I want him in my house. I'm scared of what sounds I might hear coming from his room once he traps that little girl in there. I feel like crying just thinking about it. But more than anything, I want to mean something to my kid. I don't want to be the guy who gets picked off with a single shot and left to die right where he falls.